Imoansnj’s Weblog

young blood, the naked and famous

We’re only young and naive still
We require certain skills
The mood it changes like the wind
Hard to control when it begins

The bittersweet between my teeth
Trying to find the in-betweens
Fall back in love eventually
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Can’t help myself but count the flaws
Claw my way out through these walls
One temporary escape
Feel it start to permeate

We lie beneath the stars at night
Our hands gripping each other tight
You keep my secrets hope to die
Promises, swear them to the sky

The bittersweet between my teeth
Trying to find the in-betweens
Fall back in love eventually
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

As it withers
Brittle it shakes
Can you whisper
As it crumbles and breaks
As you shiver
Count up all your mistakes
Pair of forgivers
Let go before it’s too late
Can you whisper
Can you whisper
Can you whisper
Can you whisper

The bittersweet between my teeth
Trying to find the in-betweens
Fall back in love eventually
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
The bittersweet between my teeth
Trying to find the in-betweens
Fall back in love eventually
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

(fav song)

havent had a favorite song in a long time

soo good

coming to terms

I have been living in a fantacy.

One that I made up in my head.

It portrayed only what I wanted to see,

but now I met reality.

Harsh as it may be, but its the truth.

I was wishing and hoping that it would come to be,

but thats not how it happens.

Ninety percent of the time it happens that way.

Atleast thats how it seems.

I guess it will never be.

And thats reality.

No more fantacy

life.

Still trying to figure everything out,

days and monthes even pass

and I still have no clue of reason.

Left with memory,

thats all I have.

Imaginations can run wild.

but try to make sence of mess.

Face to face,

but still no word.

Learning patience is still no fun

and time can only tell.

but Ill find my way.

hmmm

Whatever happened to that boy you kissed with those lips?

Whatever happened to that look you once gave?

Whatever happened to the dance you used to move to?

Whatever happened to our hearts that beated in unison?

Whatever happened?

your first

I love first, because there always the best.

Its like going and exploring the unknown.

excited and nervous

timid and shy

Never sure of the outcome but,willing to to try

Its part of your journey.

Its part of your life.

You’ll only have one first for everthing,

then its gone…

Those are the memorys that stay with you.

Struggle

I try to be optimistic,

but sometimes it doesnt help.

I dont even know what i feel anymore.

Theres some good moments,

but theres also bad ones.

The hurt is still here even though I hide it.

Though the heart beats it aches.

why

Why did you ever give me these cursed feelings?…

I would have rather never loved at all,

than to feel this way and hurt so bad.

What was the point? if this was to happen?

…To love someone, but cant be with them!

I wanna run away ,but that wouldnt help.

Shoot me. so it would stop.

Turn goth. so I wouldnt be emo anymore.

Im dying.

literally.

physically

and emotionally.

depressed and confused.

Why Why Why

I just wanna turn back the clock and rewind…please

Drounding in my thoughts and tears;

reality is becoming my fear.

When will this all end?

When will friendship begin?

Past mistakes become todays regret.

Standing still while the days pass,

and kiss those promises goodbye

or mybe just goodnight.

waiting

It suddenly clicked…

God is stripping the world and taking me out of it.  I was giving everything else but, him the Glory.  He is taking me away, from what was holding me back.  So, that he can be seen.  He is reteaching me how to glorify him.  He is revealing to me how to do this, in a different way.  So, that he can have a deep relationship with me.  Before I can go out and do his work and fulfill his plan for me in my life.  I must focus on God and God alone.  This is what he wanted all along but, I was to consumed with what I wanted.  I know God gives us the desires of our heart because he put those there.  So, I know what he put there is not in vain.  I must wait for his timing.  Then and then only will this happen.  Until then I must focus on him and he will guide the way.

The worst pain that can be conflicted is…the pain of a heart.

I never knew it would feel like this;

for someone that you would now miss.

An ache and longing you cant control;

a burning emotional feeling deep within the soul.

Thinking of you and want you near,

but having to part with someone you love and hold dear.

Loving soo hard your willing to let go.

But Im giving it to God cuz its all in his will.